On Having No Particular Direction: Mutable Angles
During a recent reading, I advised a client that their chart spoke to a patchwork of experiences that may not make sense at the time, but that contribute to and create their Great Work, their legacy. Like a quilt fashioned from different textures and patterns but keeps you warm all the same. It was only after the session ended that I realized I was doing that ironic thing where you lovingly dole out advice that you would do well to take yourself.
I have always struggled to pinpoint any one direction in my life. My interests are myriad, and the energy I put into them is endless. My midheaven sits in the vast expanse of energy otherwise known as Pisces, where consciousness bends and snaps in and out of place, up, down, and around, very much aware of cosmic speed limits but choosing to set its own pace anyway. Pisces is that sign that you can never quite get a read on precisely because it speaks no language. Pisces is the experience of experience. Pisces and Gemini aid and abet each other in my chart, Gemini fascinated by anything that moves, Pisces the movement itself. It is the tension of possibility. Add Mars into the picture and suddenly this duo has nowhere to go, and fast.
I used to want to be a surgeon. My mom bought me books about the human body. Devoured. Next. I wanted to be an astronaut. My mom bought me stickers of the planets that glowed in the dark. Wow! Bored. Then I decided I wanted to be a singer. I bought a guitar and taught myself how to compose. Music stuck to me. Enter the large and looming vortex of Capricorn energy in my chart, demanding skill, mastery, and prompt preeminence. In a word: importance. So, music became my identity. And it wasn’t enough to experience the joy of creation, I needed to be a world-famous superstar. It wasn’t enough to be talented, I needed to monetize it. I tried. It worked. Until it didn’t. Until a virus swept the globe and performing became an afterthought. It came right on time during my Saturn Return…in Capricorn. 29 years spent in pursuit of…[tumbleweed]
I rebranded, as Geminis do, and turned my interest in astrology into what is now an impressive side gig for someone who wasn’t initially trying. It has been rewarding, and I hope it continues to be. Yet I also have an inability to sit still. I must do all the things. Not a moment’s rest. The burden of untapped talents…